Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
