People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
