I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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