god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
