There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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