Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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