I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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