i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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