I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
