Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
