you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
