the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
