Don't make out with my wife yet
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
