I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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