Are we in a gay sports bar?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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