There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
