I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
