I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
