at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He? As in you personified your dick?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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