She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
