when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
