TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
