ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My ass is underappreciated
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
