names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
