I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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