who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
