Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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