with your own penis?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
