Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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