Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
