Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
