i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
