Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
