Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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