OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
