Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
