You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You dont lie about slip and slides
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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