You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
