if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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