I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would ride that face into the sunset
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
