Do you still have your period?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
