i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
