ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
