Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sext me about skeletons
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
