we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
