you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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