DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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