you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
