you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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