you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
