Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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