He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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